Broken Chain

We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories,
your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again 





All of my parent's wishes and dreams came apart that night but just 2 weeks later my parents had to return to the doctor again.  Mommy and Daddy were told that there autospy report had showed that Mommy had several blood clots in her placenta and that some passed to my cord restricting the blood and oxygen flow to me. The cause for the clots was determined to be caused from PLACENTAL ABRUPTION. A portion of my placenta had come unattached from the uterine wall and begin to die off causeing the blood clots.  There was not enough attached and good palcenta left to support me. It caused my heart to become stressed and finally to fail.  They also told my Mommy that whenever she was ready they would give her some feritility medicine so that she could have another baby.  I am here in heaven now so I can help Mommy by watching over my baby bother or sister whenever that time comes.






Bereaved Parents Wish List


I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had her back.

I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak Sheyenne's name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that she was important to you also.

If I cry and get emotional when you talk about her, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. Her death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about her and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.

Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.

I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child; my favorite topic of the day.

I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that  her death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.

I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die.

I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and I will always grieve that she is gone.

I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.

I don't want to have a "Pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.

I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.

When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.

I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.

Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.

Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with her. I am not the same person I was before my child died and I will never be that person again. 

And above all I wish you understood when I say I need my family that I am needing their love and their strength to help me through some of my roughest days and nights.

I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and
my grief.
But....
I pray daily that you will never understand. 

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